Happy Belated Thanksgiving! I hope everyone had a lovely holiday. Today was my first day back in the office after two months of traveling. All of you have heard my moans, groans and laughs from the road so you may be surprised to know that today I actually wished I was back on the road again. I know, I know. This is shocking, but I have to say that being in the office is stressful. People make constant requests and there is little to no solitude to be had. The road was lonely, but the office is too much! There is no in between. Now that I have been back for one full nine hour day, I am ready for another vacation. Between socializing over the holidays and talking to people in the office today, I feel like my people tolerance has been saturated. I never realized I was a borderline recluse before!

A couple of interesting things that have occurred since I wrote last...
I drove down to visit a friend in New Jersey, about 30 minutes from NYC last weekend. During this drive, I experienced true mayhem on the road. People in the NJ/NYC line believe in anarchy on the road--survival of the fittest at its best. If you are not safely esconced in a large SUV, you may die! Me, in my Kia Optima, and the others in their Suburbans and Expeditions--I thought for sure I was about to witness an impromptu monster truck rally. To make matters worse, there were a significant number of tractor trailer trucks on the road, all of whom deemed it necessary to ride the bumper of any vehicle unfortunate enough to be in front of them. As we all approached the toll booths, at approximately 80 miles an hour, all hell broke loose. The Giants game had let out and there were hundreds of cars on the roads. People zigzagged across lanes, dashing to the toll booths, neglecting to indicate their direction with blinkers, instead utilizing horns and middle fingers. As I made it safely through the toll booth, watching the television on the dashboard of the car in front of me, I entered hell in a new form. Now trucks, cars and SUVs were trying to decipher which highway they needed while moving at snail speed and with little room to maneuver. As I peeked in my rearview mirror to see which horrible monster was riding my bumper this time, I witnessed an SUV and a tractor trailer truck collide. Both parties were only going about 20 MPH so no one was injured, but the reason of the crash was absolutely ludicrous. The SUV wanted to switch lanes and failed to put on a signal, instead they began honking at the truck, who had the right of way in the lane. Then, the truck started honking back at the SUV, who by this time had begun to angle its way in front of the really big truck. The trucker, instead of stopping laid on the horn and the SUV driver, instead of staying in his own lane honked back--both vehicles rolling forward during this interchange. Finally, space ran out and they crashed--the truck making a large dent in the wheel well and hood of the SUV. Before I could watch the interaction between drivers, my lane started moving forward and then I realized how badly I had to pee.

Now, on the NJ Turnpike, just past NYC, there is a rest stop--the Vince Lombardi rest stop. Since the stop is named after Vince Lombardi, a well-respected football coach, I assumed it must be nice. Why would someone name a shitty rest stop after a beloved sports icon? The signs told me how much farther to the rest stop-- 1 mile, 100 yards, next right--all the while, my eyes watered and my bladder screamed. Finally, I turned off the highway, relief flooded me knowing that a bathroom was only five minutes away. "Hang in there," I said to my body. "We are almost there!" "Almost there!" Really, almost there" Accept the road kept winding with many other roads branching off. The signs were confusing and when I looked around, there was no building in sight. I was in a sea of resting truckers and their eighteen wheelers. By this time, I had the worst bladder cramps and I truly thought I might have a very embarrassing accident. After about 10 minutes of winding around, trying to read signs through tear-blurred eyes, I finally saw the McDonalds. "Thank you, Jesus!" But, then, of course, there was no where to park. The parking lot was full, probably because people who entered could not figure out how to exit. Nonetheless, I found a spot about 50 yards from the McD's and ran. Thank God I made it! My next task was to leave the rest area.....needless to say, I made it, though at times it was dicey. NEVER USE THE VINCE LOMBARDI REST STOP! It is a government ploy to trap a significant portion of NYC's liberal population in the VL Rest stop. We enter unwittingly, trusting that anything with Lombardi's name on it must be good--but it is a lie! A mean, cruel joke. I know someone out there has cameras level with car windows, laughing at the pained, contorted faces of patrons who desperately have to go to the bathroom. Grown men and women forced to jiggle, squirm, grab and squeeze to prevent mortification. Truly, this "rest stop" is a travesty and those who made it are bullies. As Stephanie Tanner so eloquently says," How Rude!"