My apologies to faithful readers for not posting recently. I am actually home for a few days, and man was my house a mess. Making my home livable again has taken a couple of days, but now it is clean, bright and pleasant.

Being home has brought to light a number of interesting things, pertaining primarily to stuff and television. First off--stuff. Over the past couple of months I have gotten used to living in two pairs of pants, one pair of jeans, a couple of sweaters, two pairs of shoes and perhaps a t-shirt or two. Overall, on each trip, I have travelled lightly, to say the least, learning to deal with a little less variety on the clothing front. I have also travelled with a minimal amount of stuff, preferring a couple of books, my journal and my laptop as my tried and true companions. Life on the road requires me to be unencumbered, light, ready to move and to that I have grown accustomed.

When I returned home on Friday, I almost felt overwhelmed by the amount of stuff in my apartment--and my apartment is relatively sparse. Had I time, I might have cleaned out the whole place leaving only a few precious keepsakes, furniture, lighting, other essentials and, of course, my books. Beyond that, I felt like it could all go. Why do I need more? It doesn't make my space more homey, more welcoming, but instead caused my head to start spinning and my heart rate to increase. Am I becoming a minimalist? The next time one of you comes to visit, will you wonder why someone with so little stuff lives in such a sizable apartment? Perhaps you will. Or, perhaps you will take a nice deep breath and feel freed by the lack of clutter. Either way, travelling has caused me to re-evaluate how I choose to create my home and whether stuff helps or hinders the creation of such a sacred space.

Secondly, I realized that I have been slowly, steadily letting my brain rot by watching an obscene amount of television. Now given that the past couple of years have been difficult physically, emotionally and intellectually, it seems moderately understandable why my vegetative state of choice would be drooling at the boob tube. TV would not have such wonderful nicknames accusing it of melting brains, ruining eyes, atrophying legs, building thumb muscles, etc if it was not the ultimate loafing facilitator; however, it is so good at allowing me to vegetate that it almost became a drug. Over the past couple of years, I have let life pass me by in order to catch whatever scripted or unscripted lives that were being displayed in front of millions. I chose to live through Rory Gilmore, Paige Davis (Trading Spaces), Stacy and Clinton (What Not To Wear), Kristen (Laguna Beach), and many, many others instead of dealing with my own life. For a while, I needed to live vicariously because there were some uncontrollable things going on in my life--but, now that it is time to snap out of it, move forward and live for myself, I am finding the television difficult to give up. It has proven to be the single most effective tool for eliminating stress since running and ultimate no longer were options. Now, my healthier self needs to turn off the idiot box, get the brain churning and take a deep breath every now and then.

Tonight, I have begun my first night of no television. My favorite shows have been shaved down so I should only watch about 2.5 hours of TV a week. Not bad! Today, I did not turn on the television and have been hugely productive. Surprise! I worked hard at my job, went grocery shopping, cooked my first meal at home in almost 2 months, baked cookies, consolidated some educational loans, listened to NPR, talked to my brother, cleaned my kitchen, caught up on email, read a little and now, have written a couple of pages. Imagine if everyday were TV and clutter free--I might actually make something of myself yet! Imagine if we all lived our own lives a little more, and others lives a little less--this world might actually have a fighting chance!