I am writing this post from a cute little town in southern Vermont while sitting on a large, wrap-around porch attached to yummy cafe and a great little bookstore (of course), all housed in a beautiful Victorian. Today is a stunner and it is a full-bodied pleasure to be writing while feeling the breeze on my back, hearing cars go by, watching little kids play and absorbing the day's last rays of sunlight. This is my last day in Vermont and has it been a good one.

One quick complaint before I move on to the true thing occupying my mind: the food in Vermont, overall, has been delicious. Now you might be wondering to yourself, how is delicious food a negative? Well, it is a negative because the fresh blueberry muffins (as discussed yesterday) are difficult to pass by, as are the steaming hot scones filled with juicy apple bits and the hot chocolate made of rich chocolate with lots of frothy milk on top. The good/healthy part is the salads with deep green lettuce with freshly grown fruits and vegetables, the freshly laid eggs, and the many organic meats and dairy products. The bad part is, all of the wonderful ingredients combined into a scone, muffin, hot chocolate, etc, are nearly impossible to pass by. Needless to say, it is a good thing I am done today, leaving all of these tasty temptations behind.

Now, the issue that I have been mulling over for the past few weeks is sex/sexuality/pornography. What does this have to do with my travels for my job, you ask? And, you may also be asking youself, do I want to keep reading? Yes, yes you do. There is nothing too offensive to follow.

Over the recent weeks, I have frequented innumerable public restrooms whether at truck stops, gas stations, restaurants, rest areas or bars. My experiences in these bathrooms have led me to ponder: why are there sex toys available in many public lavatories? Why are there flavored condoms and other such "necessities" located in the majority of these bathrooms? As many of you know, I believe in free speech, in being in touch with your sexuality, in sexual equality and freedom. I understand that the need strikes at odd times and protection is a must. However, these machines are not just condom dispensers which I understand, they are dispensing actual sex toys and the signage is weird, borderline offensive and not necessarily appropriate considering the myriad of people who utilize these restrooms.

To me, the issue of sex toys in the bathroom directly connects to this country's obsession with impersonal sex, pornography, and sexualized female nudity while simultaneously legislating what is legal and illegal relating to sex (often involving the above obsessions) yet incapable of having a public, coherent, articulate discussions about these very same issues. Over the past few years, I have been studying the origins of pornography and its development into the multi-billion dollar industry it is today. I have grown concerned about how we have "pornographied" pop culture without educating our children about how to interpret these images and song lyrics. We want our kids to abstain, but we shy away from "the talk", so the only messages they do receive are from their "role models" like Britney Spears and Pamela Lee. We cannot blame Britney and Pamela because they have a right to behave how they choose; however, we can look at ourselves, think about our own attitudes, misconceptions, and expectations about sex, asking whether or not we want our children to grow up with these same ideas, or do we need to get over ourselves and have candid discussions with young people to help them formulate their own ideas. Kids are pelted (and assaulted) with information all day, every day, trying to negotiate, understand, participate in, grow into and feel confident within the world around them, but we adults seem unable or unwilling to discuss the very world these kids are living in.

As some of you may know (sorry, Dad, if this is TMI), I am not opposed to all pornography and know for fact that there is some pornography that is interesting, beautiful, mutual, equal and fantastical. Much of today's pornography involves debasing the female, where her role is solely to pleasure the male, even if that involves hurting herself, demeaning herself and/or denying her own needs. This same attitude is trickling into our high schools, our junior high schools and even our elementary schools. Boys expect pleasure without expecting, anticipating or looking forward to reciprocating. Girls are demeaning themselves, performing sexual acts to fit in, to be accepted and liked by the boys. I am not attributing all of this to porn, but I do feel that the more pornography's version of sexuality infects our culture, the more we are at risk of losing a type of sexuality that is respectful, consensual and pleasurable to both parties. Men are becoming unable to be aroused because their female partner does not look like a porn star and is unwilling to do what porn stars do. Women are unable to be aroused because they feel used and unattractive. Gone are the days of free love in sixties and seventies porn when all parties involved enjoy themselves and when couples could watch together, feeling like both of their fantasies could come true. In the sixties and seventies, for better or for worse, porn was a place of inclusion (the more the merrier) and today's porn excludes the female as a participant and includes her only as a vessel and a sex toy.

How does this diatribe relate to sex toys in the bathroom you ask? I am not sure totally sure, but when I know, I will be sure to share. For now, I just drive around and ponder where this country is going and why we are in this handbasket.